Worst week ever rant

No joke.. one of the worst weeks. The only way it could get worse is if like, my car breaks down and I get kicked out of college. Even then, I'd probably be so numb that it would feel better than the one hundred panic attacks I've been having. So, be forewarned, this is way depressing and whiny -- if that's not your thing, stop reading now.

First and foremost, my alarm didn't go off this morning. I set it for 7:45 and of course, 8:50 comes rolling around and my stupid alarm hasn't gone off. There goes the morning shower. I can't skip class because I have a mid-term on Thursday that I absolutely needed to prepare for, because otherwise, that'd be something else on the "Freak-Out" plate.

Next, it's raining. Yeah, okay, I like rain -- when I'm in my bed doing homework and I don't have to be out in it, cold, wet and miserable going to class. It's just annoying.

Then, all the while, I'm remembering that I still have to write my freaking newspaper article that I have put off until PAST the last minute, yes, my fault because I'm lazy, but regardless, one more thing to add. I have felt completely uninspired to write anything, papers, essays, journals, anything! So how in the frak am I supposed to come up with something witty and meaningful to the students of Shorter College?

And of course there's that parking ticket I got this morning. The second one in the last ten days. The one I got for parking just a LITTLE over an hour in front of the library. COME ON. Refer back to said rain and cold? Remember? It's COLD! And rainy! And I had to be there for like, an hour?!

Also, seriously, if we say we're going to eat right after class so I can go write my article, then loitering in the student union for 15 minutes is just not cool. It's annoying, especially to people that have a lot of shit to do during the day. I had to go home and do homework, shower, clean my room AND get ready for work at five (not to mention write the blasted article, get gas, go to the bank and find sometime to eat) and just because you guys have time to twiddle your thumbs and dick around the FSU, doesn't mean everyone else does. SIGH.

Let's not forget this wedding, of sorts. No one's given me any money; that's right, I'm calling you out, mom and dad. When it comes to this wedding, you guys are NOT winning the "Most Supportive Parents" award. Not a dime. Not an encouraging word. "Oh yeah, sure, I'll help you, don't worry" umm, okay, when we're having the wedding at Chicago's Best Hot Dog & Taco stand September 18, 2010 because someones couldn't get me a promised deposit, I'm not showing up. Robert and I will go to the courthouse and never talk to any of you again. Just because your marriage failed doesn't mean you have to be so unsupportive.

I won't even go into detail about all of the homework I have to do...
I also am dying for my prison sentence at FMC to be over, because honestly, by this point, I hate anyone that doesn't speak English that's in this country. Really? You've been here ten years and haven't picked up ONE SINGLE 'English for Dummies' book? How long's it gonna take? Cause one day, ain't nobody gonna be there to save your non-English speaking butt while you have a gigantic baby head coming out of your vagina.

Okay. I think the rant's over. I feel a little better. At least better to the point where I can function towards productivity. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

embarking on something else

today i've made two giant leaps in terms of self-respect. okay, well, they are so for me, so, don't think "pshh, what?" when you read them. first, i received an e-mail from my supervisor with our schedule for september (that's right, it's september 1st and we got the schedule today) and in it she made little sidenotes to everyone she sent it to (in other words, everyone read what she sent to each individual) and mine said something along the lines of 'i tried to give you all the days off you requested, but i needed you to work at least one day'. hellooo, i asked for three days off the entire month. the 5th, the 7th and the 20something, i can't remember right now. and so of course, i was scheduled for one of the three days i asked off (for the whole month). well, i was upset about it and normally i would have pouted about it to myself and had a pity party that day at work. but! i put on my big-girl panties and e-mailed her back and said something along the lines of 'in case there was a misunderstanding, i only requested three days off, not this whole weekend, so, if you'd like for me to work the other two days of the weekend, i will, but let's see if we can do something about saturday'. not those exact words, but you catch my drift.

also, sigh, this was a huge deal for me, but i did it anyway. i e-mailed both of my parents (yes, both of them at the same time) and asked about the wedding. it's september now, almost a year exactly away, if anything, we need to secure our venue. that's the one thing i'm most concerned about. what if we get to said wedding venue and want to secure our wedding date and it's already taken? gulp. i'll cry. i'll cry and get over it, but i will cry. so, lord, please give me patience for this, and please give my parents patience and please give them that "in my shoes" perspective for this.

also! i went by my adviser's office yesterday and spoke with her for a long time. she is amazing. i basically want to be in her position, so i figured she would be the best person to speak with. after exciting revelations (and okay, a little more stress, because, let's face it, life is all stress until you die, right?) i dropped my education class and picked up one more english class. yippee, i may very well be on my way to graduating on time! and getting married and living in our little married apartment (even though it will be slim pickins my friends, so don't expect lavish dinner parties for the first year) and snuggling late at night with my husband. not to mention working my butt off to pay the bills and getting through my masters program, but what are those compared to the former?!

in other news, i will be visiting here in june:

not to that exact spot, of course, but to ireland, yes!

and here:



isn't that a great picture? that's right, ladies and gentlemen, i'm studying abroad for a month in england and ireland. sigh. if all works out, of course. with a little prayer and pixie dust, we can make this happen. so, let's go for it!